someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
