the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
