Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
