im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the liver wants what the liver wants
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize