we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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