my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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