if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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