Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
