my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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