wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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