Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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