it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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