ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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