Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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