that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
