Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
