Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Randomize
