well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
