Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she looked like the before picture.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize