Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
God, I missed his penis.
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