I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
