Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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