I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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