I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
