I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
