M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
