I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
