I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize