Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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