there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
