My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
