Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
