I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
