so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he shaved USA in his pubs
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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