dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
