So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
