3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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