Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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