A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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