I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
