I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
