i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
