Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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