she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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