your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
