Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
