At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
