How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize