And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
