Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize