As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
