All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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