So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize