Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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