At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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