I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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