Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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