There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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