My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize