Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
