i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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