I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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