What a fucking waste of an outfit
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The uberlube is also flammable
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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