you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
organizing the empties. That sober.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize