I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
