I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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