I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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